future
if i could do nothing
if i could do nothing, i would do everything. for the past six days i’ve been couch-bound thanks to my body’s significant intolerance to anything it isn’t used to, and have come to the conclusion that “relaxing” is not all that it’s cut out to be. this morning i was driven back to post-op to receive two bags full of fluids via IV after day 5 of being unable to eat, drink, or even stand up to walk around. i sat in the front seat of justin’s truck with my head pressed up against the window watching the trees fly by and smelling that fresh, damp, crisp smell that only late september/early october can muster. stay remarked that it’d be the perfect day to skip work and go for a run or hike or bike ride. if i could have lifted my head, i would have agreed. it was at that point i started to wonder about all of the things i wish that i could be doing with my daily routine. teaching kids, or taking groups of people white water rafting down the oconee, or building houses for habitat, or being some type of scientific journalist. i’m not sure, but i am sure that it doesn’t include calculating coefficients of heat transfer or figuring out how to save energy through environmentally friendly heaters. if i could do nothing, i would make my way to the beach every morning, go for a run, watch the sun rise, play fetch with the dogs, and find the rest of the hours of the day waiting to be tackled. i think if there is one thing that i need to feel in my life, it’s that i’ve made a tiny little change in the world every day i’m alive.
i learned that i have the best friends in the world, and if i didn’t already know that, it was solidified this past weekend. i’m not sure how complete strangers find each other and learn to love another unconditionally with no reason to prove anything, but i’m really glad that i met these people. “a true friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.” well-said.
doing nothing and being on the couch can teach lots of things. i guess the pain over the past five or six days really paid off in one way or another.
we’ll see if i agree tomorrow morning when i walk into the office.