hate mail
these days, people think that they are owed everything. a few years ago, free internet service was provided at a few restaurants and coffee shops but had a content filter applied to it because it was in a public and oftentimes family setting. this wasn’t the restrictive like the content filter at my company where we can’t see advertisements or liberal websites, let alone the x-rated facebook or myspace. the applied content filter only filtered out one type of site: adult content.
people griped over the blocking of a website where the slogan was “a hard buddy is good to find” and others that were just so catchy that i can’t post them here without feeling a little dirty. people not only complained that they couldn’t get to their sex site in a ChuckECheez, but they claimed it violated their first ammendment rights and was unconstitutional.
first of all, what the hell is wrong with these people? if, hypothetically, i were to look at porn, i wouldn’t be doing it mid-morning in a coffee shop. secondly, i wouldn’t want someone looking at it in the same area my children were playing…. do you see what i’m getting at? if you are so horribly offended that you cannot hold off til after your coffee or milkshake to look at adult content, then you need to seriously consider what type of human being you really are.
however, some people don’t find anything wrong with being sick f^cks. in fact, i have the emails to prove it.
i’d like to entertain you with the emails of some of the people that walk amongst us. Yes, these are REAL emails. And, of course, my response.
*names have been changed to protect the guilty.
Email 1 from a gentleman named Joe* after the blocking of a homosexual escort site:
I hate you. I hate you all. Passionately. With a burning
all-consuming passion.
here’s my response:
Joe*,
If you had said “with the fire of a thousand suns” we would be more concerned, but we really feel as though there is a deeper and more seething hate than a mere “burning all-consuming passion.”
With that in mind, we suggest you take a stroll to the opposite end of the spectrum, and think about how much we must actually love you to read and respond to your email. You’re an individual, Joe. A person with a soul, Joe. We care. A lot. And since we care so much, we really suggest that if you’re going to hate, you do a much much better job of it.
Maybe you should think about torturous pain, or seething vengeful hysterical indignation. Honestly, I’m not even a writer, and I can think of better adjectives; and I’m generally pretty happy, and I can get more upset. Therefore, your hate can’t be that deep. So we must not be doing that bad of a job! Thanks for the positive feedback!
Lots of love,
Lindsay
typing away
next up, dbag number 2.
To Whom It May Concern:
I am sitting at a [unnamed restaurant], which everyone I have been in is a fine establishment, and I am having some issues with certain websites. Listen, the internet isn’t something that consumers HAVE to use, it is an option; they have to type in the URL themselves and load the page themselves. Can you please tell me why sites are being blocked? Because this is America and you guys are just following this whole censorship bandwagon; so, grow some fucking balls like our ‘fore-fathers’ had when wrote the first amendment of the constitution and stop blocking sites! We have a right as American citizens to have freedom of speech and press and if someone doesn’t want to be at those certain sites, they don’t have to!!!
Thank you for the time!
John Doe*
naturally, since he dropped the f-bomb, i felt the need to reciprocate.
Dear John Doe*,
Pornography and vulgarity are not protected by the first amendment of the constitution. SO before you go ahead and point out very obvious first right synopses, please take your head out of your ass and read the whole thing. If you weren’t such a dipshit, you would have paid attention in high school and known that. So since you’re all about rights, our children have the right to not be subjected to the disgusting habits of twisted fucks who need to look at porn in public. Thank you, and keep it in your pants.
Love,
Lindsay
1st Amendment
No, these emails never were sent, but they were allegedly passed around the company that received the complaint emails in the first place. I even heard that at least three people begged higher-ups to allow them to be sent. I wrote these responses in early 2007.
i felt the need to put this down to demonstrate another one of the reasons for my lack of faith in human-kind, since in the recent past i have been ridiculed on that. i am just tired of people thinking they have the right to do whatever they please no matter who it affects, hurts, or offends. there is a difference between exercising your rights and abusing them. although i am liberal on a lot of issues, i think the one thing that i always try to keep in mind is respect of self and respect for others. because there is an obvious lack of respect in either direction, the best i can do is hold out for better days…