edgar renteria
“what is it about the green ones?”
normally i sit around and salivate at the thought of buttery popcorn or sucking the salt off of pretzels. however, for some reason i have recently gotten a bit of a sweet tooth daily at about 3 pm. i don’t know why, but if it’s going to be sweet, it’s got to be chocolate.
naturally, i went next door to target over my lunch break. halloween candy on clearance?! sign me up! i bought three bags of m&m’s: milk chocolate, dark chocolate, and peanut butter for a grand total of $5. as always, at 3 pm the urge hit me and i cracked open the bag of peanut butter m&m’s. after eating 10 and deciding that i am in actuality getting a bit heavier from my increased caloric intake, i reached into my desk drawer for a paperclip, loosely sealed the bag, and went to put the one-pound bag back into my file cabinet drawer when a small saying on the back of the bag caught my eye.
directly above the bar code and next to the nutritional information, the phrase “what is it about the green ones?” boasted itself clearly.
The Green Ones
so what, exactly, is it with the green ones? as urban legend would have it, the dye in the green m&m candy coating was an aphrodisiac and it became fairly common knowledge that green m&m’s “make you horny.”
side note: i learned that green m&m’s make one feel a bit amorous in elementary school. my best friend at the time, kristin, was eating m&m’s out of the dish at her house when she was about 7 years old when her older, 12 year-old sister told her that she should ONLY eat the green ones. when kristin asked why, her sister told her proudly that they’d make her horny! i’m sure kristin’s sister thought this was hilarious when her little sister consumed every last green candy… until of course kristin’s mother asked her why she only ate the green ones. kristin responded boastfully with a large smile that the reason was because “they make me horny, mom!” inevitably, big sister got in a bit of trouble.
so, if green m&m’s are the legal (and drastically less potent) version of ecstasy, would the marketing department really make a point to print that on the bag? i have to surmise that it was entirely intentional, especially because afterall, “nothing services like a good bohn,” and “innovation never felt so[ooooooo] good.”
digression:
rumor has it that the true renteria dance may be resurrected. renteria is synonymous with victory.
Edgar Renteria
who would i trade for renteria? absolutely anyone. he is one of my all-time favorite baseball players, and i was horribly saddened to see him go to detroit this past year. if he comes back to atlanta, i will be one very happy lady. renteria and peavy? i’m salivating, and not over m&m’s anymore.
(crap. colin, i will write another julio teheran article soon. i’ll have to pull out my spanish-speaking skills again. afterall, i did get 14th in the national spanish exam in 10th grade simply by guessing!)